
This
was one of the many films that Joe Meany, my brothers, and I made.
We called this one "Eric." It's about a scientist who is building a
robot, played by me. In the end, the robot turns on the scientist in
a rather macabre ending, not too terribly unlike Frankenstein. In looking at it now, it's a rather
compelling film given that it is only four minutes long. And silent.
It is the most complete film we ever shot and it is certainly the best one
we ever did, most likely because my older brother Kevin was the brains
behind it.
UPDATE: I have just
edited this a bit and put something of a soundtrack to to it. After
watching it again, I'm convinced, now more than ever, that this was the
best film we ever made. Kudos to Kevin. |
I
really don't remember shooting this film, but here it is. I can only
gather that it was our attempt at making some sort of music video for our
band called Fiscus Thyme. (There's a story behind that name that I
will share at a different time.) In it, you can see Kevin and Chris
Bratcher, Joe Meany, and me.
A few things are also worth
noting. First, if you'll look at my drum set, you'll see that the
drums have paper heads, all of which were broken and patched together with
bumper stickers and the like. (One says "Boycott Winn-Dixie.")
The next thing is how Joe Meany seems somewhat obsessed with showing off
his chest. Can't figure that one out. Then there's my little
brother's peculiar dance toward the beginning. And, finally, there's
me--and how incredibly skinny I was. It's almost painful to watch,
given that I looked so much like a girl. |
Here's
another of the neighborhood productions, this one a horror / slasher film
about a bunch of young kids who, for no apparent reason, meet their end at
the hands of a psychopath with an axe to grind. I can say this:
we were certainly a morbid, if not violent bunch. This production
remains unfinished after 26 years or so, but maybe we'll have a reunion
sometime soon and see if we can complete it.
Technically speaking, I
think this was our first and only one of two or so films where we used
"off-camera" lighting, meaning that the lighting we used for a given scene
was not always being directed at the action from same viewpoint as the
camera. It's much more effective from a dramatic perspective.
Sitting here decades after we shot it, I feel small pangs of regret that
we never finished it. |
This
is one of our later movies . . . still just as morbid as the earlier ones.
In this one, Joe Meany, with a perm in his hair, plays some sort of whack
job who has a car (a Subaru no less) that's not very much unlike the dark side of Kit from
Knight Rider. Poor Chris and Jeremy apparently bite the dust (as
symbolized by the crushed soda can), and Joey, the Mad Man Behind the
Wheel, drives on . . . . |
|
When
I look at some of our old films and think of some of the antics we were up
to when we were younger, I have the same recurring thoughts:
(A) How did we not get in
trouble?
(B) How did we not burn down
the garage or the house?
(C) How did we not break our
necks or, at least, a leg or an arm?
In this film, we push the
boundaries of good sense by having Dion, doubling here as a spy of sorts,
climb onto our garage, only to have his mission cut short by Joe Meany,
who springs from nowhere to shoot poor Dion in the back. Dion then
falls off the garage, landing on a doubled-over mattress and two seat
cushions from one of our old couches. Nuts. |
At
last, some evidence that we were not entirely bent on destroying the human
race. There were a couple of films we did that were little more than
Benny Hill or Monty Python knock-offs, done, of course, in an almost
sophomoric style. Thunderbird is one of those films. (If
memory serves me correctly, "Snow Patrol" was another, although I've not
managed to find the original film to have it converted.)
My father was always
working on an old car, and this 1964 / 1965 Thunderbird sat in front of
our garage for years as my father cannibalized it for the red 1964
Thunderbird he was really working on. We took advantage of its sorry
shape to make a silly little short about loose steering wheels, trade show
models, missing fenders, and a make believe vehicle crashing into dad's
1973 GMC pick 'em up truck. |
Here's
a hybrid--a somewhat humorous film that ends, well, morbidly. Joey
challenges me to a chess game, and I accept. We sit down at the
kitchen table and have at it. At any given time, either of us is
making a killer move, but, in the end, Joey wins and puts me in checkmate.
Much to my disbelief, I might add. His success is more than I can
bear, so I storm off, only to return in a flash with an instrument
guaranteed to result in my ultimate victory. Kevin directed and
operated the camera. After all, it's a "BDK" film. |
This
is officially the stupidest movie we ever made. I could write
several pages critiquing it to no end, but I'll spare you by pointing out
only the following: (A) Why in the world would soldiers make a fort
out of leftover packing crates (which are 99% open spaces) when there is
an apparently fully functioning BRICK house right behind them; (B) as soon
as the enemy shoots at the soldiers in the "fort," the soldiers spend more
time trying to put out a fire than taking up their arms to defend
themselves; (C) if the packing crates are supposed to offer some level of
protection from the enemy, then why do the soldiers abandon it at the
first sign of attack, only to take shelter in a nearly leafless bush; and
(D) finally, what's the significance of "tearing down" the fort when they
leave--is it supposed to be their version of a "scorched earth policy"
(i.e., don't leave this awesome fort behind for the enemy to use)?
My own memory informs me
that we wanted to make this war movie for no reasons other than (A) we had
those cool packing crates; (B) we had a few firecrackers we need to
ignite; (C) we had some neat army shirts; and (D) probably more than
anything else, we wanted to make fire . . . like all other self-respecting
teenagers out there. This is hardly worth a watch, other than to
make fun of it! |